










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1090 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1139 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 910 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,560 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakkeritipu | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | aapola | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | kana | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ツJuuso | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Zouns | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zouns | 581 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | kana | 406 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | aapola | 248 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Joynathan | 228 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | ツJuuso | 171 | 0.22 | 6 min |





