








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 220 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1463 | 33% |
| Smokes | 747 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1251 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1006 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,980 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 40 years old Cantonese Saitama | 53% | 101 |
| #2 | 100 men on deriods | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 50% | 114 |
| #4 | bruh | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | FaZe m0NEYBAGS | 42% | 350 |





