








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2843 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3757 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2088 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1910 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $732,083 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Surprize | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | dafuqq | 48% | 105 |
| #9 | Bama Obarack | 47% | 38 |
| #10 | ハルウララ | 46% | 157 |
| #11 | athy❀ | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laks | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ハルウララ | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | rethinkrubiks | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | athy❀ | 7 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Bama Obarack | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laks | 639 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | biarkan yopi memasak | 330 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | ハルウララ | 272 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | dafuqq | 235 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | fnayR | 188 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Surprize | +1.86 | 57 | 59 |
| #2 | laks | +1.78 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | biarkan yopi memasak | +1.52 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | kekw | +1.02 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | Subhanajak | +1.00 | 73 | 58 |





