








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2820 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2475 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1642 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2008 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,456 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | athy❀ | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Axeria丶迅速果断 | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | laks | 57% | 61 |
| #4 | kekw | 55% | 74 |
| #5 | Ascaveth | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | rethinkrubiks | 43% | 58 |
| #10 | @cuteanimegirl69 | 42% | 33 |
| #11 | ハルウララ | 41% | 82 |
| #12 | biarkan yopi memasak | 38% | 26 |
| #13 | Xylikon | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ハルウララ | 15 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Subhanajak | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | athy❀ | 9 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | laks | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Ascaveth | 6 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kekw | 256 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | laks | 233 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Subhanajak | 217 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | MostPopularWeeboo | 191 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | ハルウララ | 145 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biarkan yopi memasak | +2.53 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | laks | +2.31 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Ascaveth | +2.24 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | kekw | +1.95 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | Subhanajak | +1.77 | 75 | 57 |





