








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 143 | 7% |
| Smokes | 569 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 836 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,601 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viz | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Selwayy | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | GET SOME | 51% | 101 |
| #4 | Lukaz | 51% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viz | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Selwayy | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | GET SOME | 51% | 101 |
| #4 | Lukaz | 51% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GET SOME | 20 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Lukaz | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Selwayy | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Viz | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GET SOME | 377 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lukaz | 240 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Selwayy | 183 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Viz | 77 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selwayy | +2.14 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Lukaz | +1.77 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | Viz | +0.58 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | Batty Chirps | -0.78 | 71 | 32 |
| #5 | GET SOME | -1.12 | 48 | 50 |





