








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3930 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3353 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2975 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2842 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,609 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selwayy | 58% | 180 |
| #2 | Lukaz | 57% | 270 |
| #3 | Viz | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Batty Chirps | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selwayy | 58% | 180 |
| #2 | Lukaz | 57% | 270 |
| #3 | Viz | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Batty Chirps | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lukaz | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Selwayy | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Batty Chirps | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Viz | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selwayy | 600 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Lukaz | 599 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | Viz | 95 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Batty Chirps | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lukaz | +2.48 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | Selwayy | +2.09 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Viz | +0.41 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | GET SOME | +0.12 | 52 | 50 |
| #5 | Batty Chirps | -1.17 | 70 | 32 |





