








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6304 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4384 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4448 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4364 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,150,167 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mudkipfan79 | 56% | 66 |
| #2 | Skyswaya | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | snom | 55% | 338 |
| #4 | Tempus | 53% | 195 |
| #5 | pizzafan69 | 52% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | snom | 55% | 338 |
| #4 | Tempus | 53% | 195 |
| #5 | pizzafan69 | 52% | 163 |
| #6 | Ultra_ | 42% | 59 |
| #7 | hi im dory | 33% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snom | 72 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | pizzafan69 | 62 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | Tempus | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Ultra_ | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | hi im dory | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snom | 355 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tempus | 183 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | pizzafan69 | 176 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Skyswaya | 118 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ultra_ | 68 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tempus | +4.22 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | Skyswaya | +3.28 | 82 | 46 |
| #3 | pizzafan69 | +0.81 | 88 | 31 |
| #4 | snom | +0.65 | 73 | 24 |
| #5 | sonicfan27 | -0.29 | 55 | 63 |





