








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2113 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4156 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2225 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 978 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,546 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mudkipfan79 | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | snom | 59% | 137 |
| #3 | pizzafan69 | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | sonicfan27 | 53% | 195 |
| #5 | Ultra_ | 47% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | snom | 59% | 137 |
| #3 | pizzafan69 | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | sonicfan27 | 53% | 195 |
| #5 | Ultra_ | 47% | 108 |
| #6 | ✪ Chaw | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snom | 26 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | pizzafan69 | 23 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | sonicfan27 | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ✪ Chaw | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | Ultra_ | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonicfan27 | 683 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | snom | 152 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ultra_ | 121 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | pizzafan69 | 74 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ Chaw | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tempus | +3.23 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | pizzafan69 | +0.37 | 88 | 35 |
| #3 | snom | +0.15 | 72 | 29 |
| #4 | Ultra_ | -0.78 | 55 | 38 |
| #5 | sonicfan27 | -0.91 | 53 | 61 |





