








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 791 | 27% |
| Smokes | 520 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 931 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 718 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,963 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YessintheWashMachine | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Jag | 68% | 56 |
| #3 | Kobra | 67% | 58 |
| #4 | S3TUP | 67% | 57 |
| #5 | devu | 64% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | S3TUP | 67% | 57 |
| #5 | devu | 64% | 42 |
| #6 | Kozek | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | NBA MIMON | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | LX | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jag | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | devu | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | S3TUP | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Kobra | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | LX | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S3TUP | 383 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | devu | 155 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jag | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kobra | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | NBA MIMON | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kobra | +2.72 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | angeL | +1.45 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | S3TUP | +1.44 | 72 | 90 |
| #4 | Jag | +0.94 | 82 | 53 |
| #5 | YessintheWashMachine | +0.56 | 49 | 73 |





