








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4080 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3937 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3934 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3235 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,396 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | stitch | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | -Langsom | 38% | 34 |
| #14 | Kaspermt | 38% | 24 |
| #15 | ✪ $h4d0w lay lay シ ♥ | 38% | 32 |
| #16 | zOFIA | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XantosONLINE #OOM-500 | 172 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | -Langsom | 117 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Torben | 108 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zero | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | [TM] Simp Kingヅ | 87 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deddo | +4.73 | 80 | 48 |
| #2 | ZyP1x | +4.31 | 87 | 38 |
| #3 | ✪ $h4d0w lay lay シ ♥ | +3.16 | 34 | 51 |
| #4 | [TM] Simp Kingヅ | +2.87 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | Kaspermt | +2.80 | 51 | 26 |





