










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3578 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4189 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6221 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4475 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,570,624 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notcock | 60% | 86 |
| #2 | Chrissy | 52% | 525 |
| #3 | just Andooby | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notcock | 60% | 86 |
| #2 | Chrissy | 52% | 525 |
| #3 | just Andooby | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrissy | 19 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Notcock | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | just Andooby | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrissy | 1079 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #2 | just Andooby | 164 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Notcock | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just Andooby | +3.26 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | Chrissy | +2.61 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | Notcock | +1.19 | 75 | 50 |
| #4 | moon | -1.71 | 37 | 53 |





