








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 767 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 443 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2566 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2384 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3074 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3257 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,894,710 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 643 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soaponmypatio | 53% | 118 |
| #2 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | 53% | 186 |
| #3 | Dank | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soaponmypatio | 53% | 118 |
| #2 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | 53% | 186 |
| #3 | Dank | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | 20 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | soaponmypatio | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Dank | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soaponmypatio | 498 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | 320 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Dank | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | +3.82 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | Dank | +1.10 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | FOG | -0.11 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | soaponmypatio | -0.22 | 69 | 68 |





