








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 20% |
| Smokes | 462 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 522 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,389 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soaponmypatio | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | WeabooKyo | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | FOG | 42% | 50 |
| #5 | M O N K E | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soaponmypatio | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | WeabooKyo | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | FOG | 42% | 50 |
| #5 | M O N K E | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOG | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOG | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | soaponmypatio | 20 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | M O N K E | 14 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | WeabooKyo | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soaponmypatio | +4.35 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Barry The Benevolent Baboon | +3.13 | 74 | 43 |
| #3 | WeabooKyo | +2.43 | 64 | 42 |
| #4 | Dank | +1.36 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | FOG | -0.13 | 80 | 51 |





