








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 222 | 20% |
| Smokes | 397 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 227 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,725 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigballbarry69 | 3 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Señor Pink | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Dirty Dan | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Pinhead Larry | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Subtle | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirty Dan | 76 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Señor Pink | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pinhead Larry | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Subtle | 30 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | JmiL | 21 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | achilles | +3.85 | 86 | 32 |
| #2 | JmiL | +2.70 | 59 | 70 |
| #3 | 10001110101 | +2.55 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | Señor Pink | +2.03 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | yung_air | +1.99 | 73 | 62 |





