








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2096 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2894 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,058 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirty Dan | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | The Honored One | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | MoonyLunar | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Aethr | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | FTP Frag | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aethr | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | FTP Frag | 54% | 26 |
| #6 | yung_air | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | bigballbarry69 | 45% | 127 |
| #8 | Señor Pink | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigballbarry69 | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Señor Pink | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Aethr | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | FTP Frag | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | MoonyLunar | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigballbarry69 | 184 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | MoonyLunar | 82 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | FTP Frag | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Señor Pink | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aethr | 53 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Pink | +2.85 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | Aethr | +2.36 | 80 | 34 |
| #3 | bigballbarry69 | +2.28 | 86 | 47 |
| #4 | MoonyLunar | +1.87 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | yung_air | +1.06 | 80 | 64 |





