








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2521 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5130 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4124 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3195 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,286 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heRrWiNKLa | 48% | 241 |
| #2 | jp | 48% | 119 |
| #3 | Pfannenwender | 48% | 134 |
| #4 | Norrlands guld 5.3 | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | VwieVendetta | 43% | 155 |





