








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 972 | 22% |
| Smokes | 953 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1325 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1199 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,516 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 811 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Tim the Enchanter | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | xXB1MB0Xx | 38% | 39 |
| #14 | Quantavious Von Dinglefin | 38% | 56 |
| #15 | Slip | 35% | 37 |
| #16 | zyn | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a gun | 387 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Quantavious Von Dinglefin | 163 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | XxImDaHonkoxX | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tim | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | rialz | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a gun | +7.56 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | she farts | +4.57 | 78 | 47 |
| #3 | Peanut | +1.66 | 49 | 43 |
| #4 | sournotspicy | +0.40 | 61 | 46 |
| #5 | PrematureShooter | -0.16 | 50 | 35 |





