








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 910 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1453 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2077 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1952 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,512,514 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whos Greggo | 64% | 76 |
| #2 | Mav | 61% | 88 |
| #3 | she farts | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | a gun | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | zyn | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | rialz | 50% | 20 |
| #8 | Chew | 45% | 74 |
| #9 | sournotspicy | 44% | 80 |
| #10 | xXB1MB0Xx | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | Slip | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chew | 16 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | sournotspicy | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Mav | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | she farts | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | PrematureShooter | 6 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a gun | 157 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mav | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chew | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | zyn | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | she farts | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a gun | +7.57 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Mav | +6.32 | 93 | 63 |
| #3 | she farts | +4.67 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | sournotspicy | +2.18 | 67 | 41 |
| #5 | XxImDaHonkoxX | +0.06 | 52 | 39 |





