








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4386 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4101 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3371 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1705 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,740 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt. Tschonsen | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Ligma_balls | 17 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Nino | 16 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | tretapolis | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Börkus | 7 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt. Tschonsen | 804 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | Ligma_balls | 209 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | tretapolis | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nino | 92 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Moou03 | 68 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ༺Leͥgeͣnͫd༻ Kaix1x | +5.14 | 58 | 85 |
| #2 | Börkus | +4.28 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Sgt. Tschonsen | +1.39 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | Nino | -2.12 | 37 | 47 |
| #5 | Ligma_balls | -3.26 | 35 | 52 |





