








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5653 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3661 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2892 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2672 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,051,998 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 923 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Xangas | 49% | 174 |
| #4 | Sloppyping | 49% | 173 |
| #5 | Zylos | 49% | 138 |
| #6 | Nomak | 46% | 141 |
| #7 | Borat | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloppyping | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Borat | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Xangas | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Nomak | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Zylos | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zylos | 465 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Sloppyping | 359 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Xangas | 114 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪Campbell | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Borat | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |





