








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3617 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3449 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4202 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3681 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,066,107 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baba Desi ~ (Overwatch P.I) | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | Xangas | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Nomak | 54% | 211 |
| #4 | Zylos | 49% | 243 |
| #5 | Cheeze | 49% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Xangas | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Nomak | 54% | 211 |
| #4 | Zylos | 49% | 243 |
| #5 | Cheeze | 49% | 173 |
| #6 | Borat | 44% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borat | 20 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Nomak | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Zylos | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Cheeze | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Baba Desi ~ (Overwatch P.I) | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zylos | 973 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | Cheeze | 817 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #3 | Baba Desi ~ (Overwatch P.I) | 151 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nomak | 77 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Borat | 67 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloppyping | +3.17 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Xangas | +1.44 | 72 | 43 |
| #3 | Nomak | +0.05 | 64 | 43 |
| #4 | Baba Desi ~ (Overwatch P.I) | -0.43 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Cheeze | -1.56 | 42 | 63 |





