








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 23% |
| Smokes | 242 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 538 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 236 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,427 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuCk0r | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | .esca | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | lil' luesi | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | NoBudget- | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Pickle Rick | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Diddily | 50% | 4 |
| #13 | kriss | 50% | 6 |
| #14 | FantaGoesZero | 46% | 41 |
| #15 | Undefined | 33% | 3 |
| #16 | R0biNbLy4t | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N'Golo Kanté | 3 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | FantaGoesZero | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | R0biNbLy4t | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Diddily | 1 | 0.0132 |





