








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 16% |
| Smokes | 973 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2070 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 852 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,086 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Кирби my ass | 46% | 26 |
| #2 | Pingu | 41% | 58 |
| #3 | Aphrodite | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Marbo® | 39% | 33 |
| #5 | L0nda🌺 | 39% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marbo® | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Pingu | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | L0nda🌺 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Кирби my ass | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Aphrodite | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingu | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Aphrodite | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | L0nda🌺 | 60 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Marbo® | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Кирби my ass | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aphrodite | +5.02 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Pingu | +2.72 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | Marbo® | +1.09 | 66 | 50 |
| #4 | Кирби my ass | +0.64 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | L0nda🌺 | +0.61 | 71 | 42 |





