








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3876 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3580 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2088 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3124 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,837 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supahporn | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | MMMMMMMMMMMMM | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | vluxq | 51% | 220 |
| #4 | Shmurkio | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | suchbite | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supahporn | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | MMMMMMMMMMMMM | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | vluxq | 51% | 220 |
| #4 | Shmurkio | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | suchbite | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vluxq | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Shmurkio | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | MMMMMMMMMMMMM | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | suchbite | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vluxq | 406 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | MMMMMMMMMMMMM | 122 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shmurkio | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | supahporn | 85 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | suchbite | 29 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vluxq | +1.67 | 56 | 54 |
| #2 | Shmurkio | +0.61 | 81 | 50 |
| #3 | MMMMMMMMMMMMM | -0.45 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | supahporn | -0.81 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | Waltuh | -0.85 | 54 | 73 |





