










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 538 | 44% |
| Smokes | 397 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 40 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,119 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | PacificFish | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | Ben Simmons | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Collegeboard | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Strawberry894427 | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iiSun | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | WOW | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Dontavius Calliope | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | FGSky | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Strawberry894427 | 5 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strawberry894427 | 445 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #2 | Dontavius Calliope | 297 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #3 | Crabapples | 245 | 0.43 | 8 min |
| #4 | iiSun | 148 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | FGSky | 141 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | +4.30 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | a | +4.02 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | WOW | +3.11 | 80 | 42 |
| #4 | Crabapples | +1.58 | 74 | 78 |
| #5 | Dontavius Calliope | +1.52 | 57 | 68 |





