










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 392 | 35% |
| Smokes | 299 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 260 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 155 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,157 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Ben Simmons | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Strawberry894427 | 44% | 43 |
| #4 | PacificFish | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | FGSky | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemon | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Dontavius Calliope | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | FGSky | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Strawberry894427 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | PacificFish | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strawberry894427 | 260 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dontavius Calliope | 149 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | lemon | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Crabapples | 100 | 0.40 | 3 min |
| #5 | FGSky | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | +4.92 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | Dontavius Calliope | +2.00 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | WOW | +0.98 | 81 | 37 |
| #4 | iiSun | +0.47 | 76 | 36 |
| #5 | lemon | +0.27 | 72 | 15 |





