








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1506 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1951 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2542 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1350 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,503,958 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LonelyFans | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Sam | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | N.N. | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Memebot | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Big Shpicy | 52% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Hsoj | 48% | 25 |
| #10 | spartakushhh🍻 | 42% | 59 |
| #11 | Senner | 40% | 25 |
| #12 | Henk | 29% | 24 |
| #13 | Shagroids | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEANMACHINE | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Memebot | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | spartakushhh🍻 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | LonelyFans | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Senner | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Shpicy | 266 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | spartakushhh🍻 | 233 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | LonelyFans | 191 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Senner | 174 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #5 | DEANMACHINE | 148 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hsoj | +3.20 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | DEANMACHINE | +2.82 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | Moriarty | Wuntep | +2.43 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | spartakushhh🍻 | +2.37 | 64 | 80 |
| #5 | Big Shpicy | +2.15 | 87 | 54 |





