








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 427 | 21% |
| Smokes | 605 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 531 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 460 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,021 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aakra | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | juan | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | ostebrod | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | wintergod | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | chike | 47% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ostebrod | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | chike | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ostebrod | +3.77 | 70 | 82 |
| #2 | juan | +3.55 | 95 | 45 |
| #3 | dyb | +0.65 | 72 | 53 |
| #4 | wintergod | +0.61 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | Aakra | -0.49 | 61 | 61 |





