










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 52 | 9% |
| Smokes | 168 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 170 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 168 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $103,068 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniff | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Sykkelblyant | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Froggy Fresh | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | JACK? | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Nuttn | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sinned | 50% | 2 |
| #9 | S0liiiD :^) | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | smørsyra | 50% | 2 |
| #11 | ✪S1deworth | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | feesh | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪S1deworth | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Dalen | 1 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Sykkelblyant | 1 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | JACK? | 1 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feesh | 64 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪S1deworth | 50 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sykkelblyant | 35 | 0.45 | 1 min |
| #4 | Froggy Fresh | 19 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #5 | JACK? | 16 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smørsyra | +3.45 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | Sykkelblyant | +2.94 | 89 | 78 |
| #3 | Dalen | +2.45 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | Nuttn | +2.11 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | Sinned | +0.91 | 78 | 74 |





