








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 890 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2020 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1907 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1967 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,891 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChaosDAD | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Gunha | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | kvaki | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Darac | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | kinko | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChaosDAD | 204 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Darac | 201 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gunha | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | kinko | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | π
Ύππ
½ππβ’ | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |





