








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 517 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8460 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7367 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6203 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4727 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,833,104 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samperi | 35 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Nahkavyö57 | 26 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Lucky Fat Cunt | 22 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Nakkifakiiri | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Marjatta/Jere | 16 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakkifakiiri | 802 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Nahkavyö57 | 595 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | Lucky Fat Cunt | 388 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | samperi | 345 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #5 | bunny kopter | 229 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esa Nahka/Tero Nuppi | +3.36 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | Aamu Pajari | +0.44 | 57 | 49 |
| #3 | bunny kopter | -0.48 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | Nahkavyö57 | -0.67 | 41 | 60 |
| #5 | Lucky Fat Cunt | -0.67 | 43 | 63 |





