








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 440 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1367 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2511 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3907 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3151 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,978,384 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 471 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esa Nahka/Tero Nuppi | 45 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Lucky Fat Cunt | 23 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Nakkifakiiri | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Nahkavyö57 | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Marjatta/Jere | 11 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esa Nahka/Tero Nuppi | 2341 | 0.25 | 71 min |
| #2 | Nakkifakiiri | 664 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | Nahkavyö57 | 486 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Lucky Fat Cunt | 295 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | bunny kopter | 200 | 0.11 | 4 min |





