








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 988 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4920 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4804 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7411 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3290 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,045,507 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5aint | 68% | 56 |
| #2 | KadN | 54% | 380 |
| #3 | Fottom Bragger | 53% | 110 |
| #4 | Rudi McSackschweiß | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | Snus | 46% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5aint | 68% | 56 |
| #2 | KadN | 54% | 380 |
| #3 | Fottom Bragger | 53% | 110 |
| #4 | Rudi McSackschweiß | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | Snus | 46% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snus | 48 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Fottom Bragger | 21 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | KadN | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Rudi McSackschweiß | 8 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | 5aint | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snus | 357 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | KadN | 345 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | Fottom Bragger | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | 5aint | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rudi McSackschweiß | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I want to break Kneees | +1.73 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | KadN | +1.15 | 89 | 33 |
| #3 | Fottom Bragger | +0.43 | 56 | 58 |
| #4 | 5aint | -1.41 | 78 | 43 |
| #5 | Snus | -1.66 | 66 | 33 |





