








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2000 | 33% |
| Smokes | 338 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2631 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1014 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,203 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5aint | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Fottom Bragger | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | moloch horridus | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | I want to break Kneees | 54% | 380 |
| #5 | Snus | 52% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5aint | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Fottom Bragger | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | moloch horridus | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | I want to break Kneees | 54% | 380 |
| #5 | Snus | 52% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I want to break Kneees | 75 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Snus | 31 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Fottom Bragger | 11 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | moloch horridus | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I want to break Kneees | 991 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | Snus | 224 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fottom Bragger | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | 5aint | 35 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | moloch horridus | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I want to break Kneees | +1.98 | 63 | 64 |
| #2 | KadN | +1.85 | 89 | 35 |
| #3 | Fottom Bragger | +1.11 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | moloch horridus | -0.59 | 52 | 26 |
| #5 | Snus | -1.29 | 66 | 30 |





