








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 751 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1207 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1125 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 628 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,130 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercked | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | The Credible Kulk | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Scopefielder | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Scar | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | bMIL | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercked | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | The Credible Kulk | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Scopefielder | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Scar | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | bMIL | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scopefielder | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | bMIL | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Scar | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Mercked | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scopefielder | 95 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mercked | 82 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | bMIL | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Scar | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Credible Kulk | 17 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercked | +2.40 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | Scar | +1.02 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | bMIL | +1.02 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | Scopefielder | -0.08 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | PlogarN | -0.33 | 79 | 57 |





