








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 952 | 32% |
| Smokes | 786 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 569 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,003 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | HyWRo | 54% | 13 |
| #12 | nsco | 50% | 8 |
| #13 | SHYSAAN | 43% | 14 |
| #14 | Ntek =D | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | A t o m | 25% | 4 |





