








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2690 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2002 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1875 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1423 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,297 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 773 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mf_ | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Collat | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | yoinky sploinker | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Loser Bimbo | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | RexxBomer | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | G U R T | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | Coiffee | 47% | 15 |
| #15 | Yoinky Sploinker | 43% | 30 |
| #16 | buppy | 43% | 60 |
| #17 | WezZYD | 39% | 28 |





