








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




116 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1555 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1366 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1992 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2023 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,100,692 of utility $307 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 910 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoinky Sploinker | 52% | 192 |
| #2 | WezZYD | 50% | 302 |
| #3 | RexxBomer | 50% | 330 |
| #4 | xfactorj | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Coiffee | 47% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Collat | 46% | 133 |
| #7 | Suppress | 43% | 58 |
| #8 | Dash | 41% | 137 |
| #9 | dack five | 39% | 80 |
| #10 | GaT (NOT a casual) | 32% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RexxBomer | 41 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Coiffee | 40 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | WezZYD | 34 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Yoinky Sploinker | 27 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | GaT (NOT a casual) | 20 | 0.0176 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RexxBomer | 1258 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #2 | WezZYD | 1071 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | Dash | 834 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #4 | Coiffee | 296 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Suppress | 260 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoinky Sploinker | +3.37 | 85 | 44 |
| #2 | WezZYD | +1.68 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | WeZ | +1.28 | 87 | 40 |
| #4 | Suppress | -0.46 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | dack five | -0.53 | 80 | 19 |





