








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3449 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1778 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 8394 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 1611 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,206,457 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | EnKaY | 43% | 121 |
| #10 | Magnito | 43% | 63 |
| #11 | Cypher | 41% | 64 |
| #12 | Rebter | 38% | 48 |
| #13 | Felizius | 34% | 38 |





