








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1818 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2012 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2130 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1792 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,938 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magixx | 63% | 65 |
| #2 | J4coobヅ | 58% | 97 |
| #3 | вот qbre | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magixx | 63% | 65 |
| #2 | J4coobヅ | 58% | 97 |
| #3 | вот qbre | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magixx | 23 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | J4coobヅ | 19 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | вот qbre | 4 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J4coobヅ | 481 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | magixx | 166 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | вот qbre | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J4coobヅ | +5.78 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | magixx | +2.12 | 75 | 44 |
| #3 | Blumo | -0.84 | 49 | 67 |
| #4 | вот qbre | -1.08 | 69 | 28 |





