








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5661 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3311 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2611 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1953 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,279 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stirfryrai | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Krispyniku | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | < blank > | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Alter | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | HighHorse | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stirfryrai | 1424 | 0.43 | 37 min |
| #2 | HighHorse | 435 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #3 | NightmareOnUrSt | 406 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | Krispyniku | 316 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Alter | 187 | 0.12 | 5 min |





