








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 197 | 30% |
| Smokes | 225 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 104 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 140 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $42,017 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reaxx- | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | byr9 | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Saax | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | Hippo5 | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | Rev♿L Seek TEAM | 100% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | REDSTAR | 50% | 2 |
| #13 | Kanky* | 50% | 2 |
| #14 | Myzunic | 50% | 2 |
| #15 | h4rn | 33% | 3 |
| #16 | k. | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saax | 1 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hippo5 | +5.57 | 90 | 81 |
| #2 | Diviiii | +3.95 | 95 | 59 |
| #3 | Rev♿L Seek TEAM | +2.88 | 79 | 44 |
| #4 | h4rn | +1.72 | 86 | 58 |
| #5 | fffffffffffffffffff | +1.50 | 96 | 70 |





