








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 167 matches | ||
| Esplay | 125 matches | 1,711 | |
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2297 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2909 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3162 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2344 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,483,186 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Gutta på Tur | 44% | 70 |
| #16 | kongla | 43% | 152 |
| #17 | BanjoRune | 43% | 28 |
| #18 | Andycheck | 40% | 20 |
| #19 | OrangeIDIOTT | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kongla | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | matsdf | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Melga | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | disco dreigen | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Gutta på Tur | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disco dreigen | 332 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | BRUNO | 260 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Melga | 235 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | matsdf | 216 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Housewally | 181 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRUNO | +3.22 | 57 | 79 |
| #2 | Housewally | +3.14 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | matsdf | +1.79 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | disco dreigen | +1.56 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | BanjoRune | +1.50 | 77 | 65 |





