








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6068 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4086 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4941 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2363 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,923 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Neon | 46% | 190 |
| #3 | El Dorito | 46% | 331 |
| #4 | Tatti Matti | 45% | 233 |
| #5 | Silakkamies | 45% | 219 |
| #6 | mikä mikä mies | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Dorito | 69 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Silakkamies | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Tatti Matti | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Neon | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | mikä mikä mies | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Dorito | +1.40 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Fexi | +0.50 | 44 | 72 |
| #3 | Tatti Matti | +0.27 | 46 | 54 |
| #4 | Neon | +0.19 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | Silakkamies | -0.77 | 46 | 69 |





