








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2206 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1118 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2742 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1444 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $807,495 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neon | 47% | 199 |
| #2 | Fexi | 46% | 331 |
| #3 | Tatti Matti | 44% | 193 |
| #4 | Silakkamies | 43% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neon | 47% | 199 |
| #2 | Fexi | 46% | 331 |
| #3 | Tatti Matti | 44% | 193 |
| #4 | Silakkamies | 43% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fexi | 42 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Silakkamies | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Neon | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Tatti Matti | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fexi | 1319 | 0.19 | 36 min |
| #2 | Silakkamies | 922 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | Neon | 457 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Tatti Matti | 421 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Dorito | +1.36 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | Fexi | +0.46 | 45 | 73 |
| #3 | Neon | +0.38 | 57 | 58 |
| #4 | Tatti Matti | +0.24 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | Silakkamies | -0.83 | 45 | 70 |





