








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 51 matches | 1,830 | |
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1612 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1946 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1257 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1046 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,074 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foppa | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Stålbert ツ | 59% | 94 |
| #3 | cARLMAESTRO +} | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | makii | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | gunvald larsson ツ frag4food | 55% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gunvald larsson ツ frag4food | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Snowball | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | cARLMAESTRO +} | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | RejexX | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Matte | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stålbert ツ | 220 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | gunvald larsson ツ frag4food | 200 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | lars-olof^ | 177 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | cARLMAESTRO +} | 120 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Foppa | 106 | 0.18 | 3 min |





