








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2383 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2800 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2918 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2846 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,624 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Lapeno | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Kuhla. | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | Strudel | 60% | 91 |
| #4 | Nqrman | 60% | 87 |
| #5 | dan1el | 57% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan1el | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Strudel | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Final | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Nqrman | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | tornadotob1 | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Final | 844 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | dan1el | 781 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #3 | Nqrman | 223 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Strudel | 201 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | tornadotob1 | 190 | 0.18 | 5 min |





