








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 875 | 25% |
| Smokes | 870 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1059 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 752 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,720 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zahnpastadodger | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Ad | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | speak russian = me troll -iknm- | 52% | 83 |
| #4 | Enriko (ischleck.aya) | 47% | 86 |
| #5 | Thomas | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speak russian = me troll -iknm- | 16 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Enriko (ischleck.aya) | 15 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Painis | 10 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Wainer Rinkler ⛟ | 6 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | Ad | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speak russian = me troll -iknm- | +4.47 | 75 | 78 |
| #2 | Enriko (ischleck.aya) | +2.55 | 60 | 73 |
| #3 | Thomas | +1.68 | 86 | 35 |
| #4 | zahnpastadodger | +1.33 | 84 | 36 |
| #5 | ✪ NesBlack ⛟ | -0.60 | 45 | 57 |





