








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 941 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1804 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1625 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1636 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,820 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreeZy | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | EselRocktDenBums ☼♫ | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Errork3ng | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | Cookie ;) | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | Janigma | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Errork3ng | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | Cookie ;) | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | Janigma | 50% | 68 |
| #6 | Conando | 50% | 202 |
| #7 | Zunaax | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie ;) | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Janigma | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Conando | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Errork3ng | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | EselRocktDenBums ☼♫ | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conando | 377 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Janigma | 312 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cookie ;) | 245 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | EselRocktDenBums ☼♫ | 131 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #5 | Errork3ng | 130 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreeZy | +2.36 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | EselRocktDenBums ☼♫ | +1.49 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | Cookie ;) | +1.29 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | Conando | +1.03 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | Janigma | +0.58 | 53 | 68 |





