








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 28% |
| Smokes | 409 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 155 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 226 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,876 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 798 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metrx | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | Swag Masta Girp | 42% | 33 |
| #3 | teesix | 42% | 43 |
| #4 | BeanPole | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | 너는 나에 비하면 느리 | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Swag Masta Girp | 42% | 33 |
| #3 | teesix | 42% | 43 |
| #4 | BeanPole | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | 너는 나에 비하면 느리 | 22% | 9 |
| #6 | ItsSolar | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teesix | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Swag Masta Girp | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | metrx | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | ItsSolar | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | BeanPole | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teesix | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | metrx | 68 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ItsSolar | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | 너는 나에 비하면 느리 | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Swag Masta Girp | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsSolar | +4.51 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | metrx | +4.06 | 78 | 39 |
| #3 | teesix | +2.70 | 21 | 43 |
| #4 | 너는 나에 비하면 느리 | +2.62 | 31 | 51 |
| #5 | BeanPole | +2.16 | 76 | 22 |





